We Love Food…

Here, Sweet editors sound off on what you *won't* find them eating, posting on social media, or otherwise supporting in the least. But don't call us picky—these aversions run deeper than that.

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Rainbow-Colored Food Overkill

Martin Sanchez, associate editor, @thet_t

Why: 20,886. That's the current number of pictures tagged with #rainbowbagel on Instagram. And that's only one type of food that's been victimized by the world's childlike fascination with food coloring. Browsing any type of social media on any given day leaves you susceptible to this technicolor torture, in the form of rainbow-colored lattes, pasta, sushi, grilled cheese, and pizza. The list of foods we've mutated is never-ending, really. Come on, people. We're better than this.

Photograph courtesy of The Bagel Store/Instagram

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Concession Stands: You're Perfect, Never Change

Mallory Rice, deputy editor, @mallory-rice

Why: Some things I really, really love: Movie-theater nachos. Bowling-alley curly fries. Baseball-game hot dogs. They're simple American pleasures that I closely associate with the wholesome experiences for which they provide sustenance, and I am getting really tired of them being replaced by artisanal fare from vendors that I can find elsewhere. It's blatant food gentrification and I'm putting my foot down. (And then dipping a salty, round tortilla chip into barely-warm, synthetic cheese.)

Photograph courtesy of Getty Images

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Desserts That Might Actually Kill You

Chantal Strasburger, assistant editor, @chantagold

Why: I thought we were supposed to be the generation that's going to get the world back up on its feet and running! Milkshakes topped with cookies, cotton candy, and five varieties of chocolate seem to be the antithesis of that. Obviously, I love ice cream as much as the next human, but there's something called a serving size and it was invented for a reason. So go on, foodies—have your cake and eat it, too. But don't place it between two brownies, on top of four cookies, and then encase it in chocolate and fry it. It's too much!

Photograph courtesy of Blacktapnyc/Instagram

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Cake That Isn't Actually Cake

Rebecca Deczynski, editorial assistant, @rebeccadecz

Why: Imagine: you spot a beautifully frosted cake. Maybe it's topped with meringue or whipped icing. You imagine yourself cutting into it, and then savoring a decadent, fluffy bite of chocolate or vanilla or red velvet or even Funfetti cake. But then, someone slices it and reveals a pinkish red interior—and suddenly, you realize this isn't cake at all. It's watermelon covered in frosting. You feel nothing but sadness. You're not sure you'll ever trust a cake again.

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Unnecessary Bacon

Caitlin Petreycik, senior fashion editor, @c_petreycik

Why: I just want a normal chocolate chip cookie, donut, or cupcake that doesn't kind of smell like dog treats. Bacon, you're perfect on egg and cheese sandwiches, and I love your work in BLTs, but, really, you bring nothing to baked goods but saltiness and confusion. Putting a candied piece of bacon on top of a maple-flavored donut doesn't make it fancy. 

Photograph courtesy of Getty Images

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Re: Coconut Water: Why?

Rebecca Bates, senior editor, @re.beccabates

Why: Not to sound like a total dad, but what's the deal with coconut water? Why do I have to care about all of these weird new kinds of waters? Turn on the tap, fill a cup with water. Drink that water. Or use a Brita filter if you're particular. Coconut water looks like watered-down skim milk—which is to say, it's a bizarre color and of an even weirder flavor. Sometimes I'll see people buy coconuts and just drink the coconut milk or water or whatever with a straw straight out of the coconut while walking down the street. Those people look like they got duped so hard. Of course, I also just spent $9 on a small bottle of fresh beet juice, so I guess we're all getting duped all the time.

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The Ultimate Four-Letter Word

Catherine Fuentes, managing editor, @cat_fuentes

Why: I'm making a concerted effort to be a Healthy and Responsible Adult these days, which has meant eating salads for lunch more often than I would otherwise prefer. But when I go to a salad bar and order Romaine lettuce or mixed greens, I feel all the kale-eaters silently judging me for getting a "lesser" green. Why the salad judgment? Kale is dry and bitter, and there are other, far tastier superfoods out there. Stop fooling yourself, kale "lovers." Would you really be eating kale if it wasn't so popular? No, probably not. 

Photograph courtesy of Getty Images

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Maple a.k.a. Tree Discharge

Chanel Parks, assistant editor, @chanelinezp

Why: Unpopular opinion: Maple is disgusting. I admit it does have a place in the tiny breakfast universe occupied by pancakes and Belgian waffles, but maple is like the frenemy who interrupts you by talking two volumes higher than you—it's overpowering! Get it out of my bacon (because sweet meat is extremely gross), take it out of my ice cream, and definitely get that sticky mess out of my water, because there's no reason why water should taste like Eggos. 

Photograph courtesy of Getty Images

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