Coats Are for Wearing, Not Balancing

Please, wear them properly.

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Fashion you have to fiddle with is never good. That's a fairly straightforward statement, yes, but a true one. Looking cool means looking calm and collected and that's impossible if you're yanking this here and that there in a desperate attempt to keep your ensemble in place; it should stay in place of its own accord. (And not run the risk of being blown away by the wind, either, which right now is a very strong possibility in a very blustery London.) This is why you will find my arms in my sleeves and me extremely happy for it. I am not a precarious percher of the coat or jacket on shoulders—I wear my coat properly and I wear it proud.

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Why? Because otherwise, it becomes too much like hard work. Have you ever actually tried getting around on the tube—or indeed on any metropolitan transportation system—in a busy, bustling city with people bumping into you with a coat draped across your shoulders? It's not going to happen. But on the tube, there comes that awkward and constant shoulder grab to check in and make sure you're not suddenly sartorially lopsided or trailing said outerwear inelegantly behind you—and heaven forbid you let it drop to the floor: Coats and dirty floors don't mix. Wearing coats on shoulders just requires far too much maintenance, too much taming, and it ultimately defeats, and undoes, any of the fashionableness the idea may have had in the first place.

And then comes the question of the bag. And it's a big question! Where, and how, do you even begin to wear one? Because suddenly the shoulders are off-limits in a way they weren't before: now they're preoccupied, too busy propping up—quite literally—the rest of your look. And so, oddly and randomly, a clutch becomes a possibility, which is just another thing you have to juggle with and remember not to leave behind, and how are you supposed to do that when the thing doesn't have any straps and your coat is falling off?!

Of course, it also means planning ahead more when it comes to the outfit underneath—because now that's on show (and will need to work with the whole shoulder-perch thing) where before it was so wonderfully concealed by the hug that is your coat, anchored firmly in place by your arms, precisely where they were designed to be: in the sleeves.

And let's face it, what being a "percher" really means is that you're a poser, dressing with the street-style set in mind and anticipating—encouraging—that not-actually-candid photograph of you. If and when it does, perhaps you'll be mid-shoulder grab, or fumbling for your purse. Who knows? Do yourself, and everyone else a favor and wear your coats practically, please.

See the case For: Here.

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